Learn the fricking language!

(No, this has nothing to do with immigration, national language or ethnocentric bigots.)

Ok, I admit it: I am a nerd.

This comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me - online or in RL, but I felt the need for a disclaimer.

When I was in high school, I actually LIKED diagramming sentences, for God's sake! I can tell a subjective complement (and spell complement correctly) from a direct object. I can spot a split infinitive faster than my cat can spot a full food dish.

My point? Yes. I have one. I absolutely fail to understand how persons whose native language is English refuse to use it correctly! (I teach with several bilingual women and without exception, they speak English better than the Caucasian teachers with whom I teach.)

Examples:

1. People are not things. Therefore they cannot be "thats." "That's the girl I saw on TV." Nope. "She's the girl I saw on TV." Yep.

2. Apostrophe "s" shows possesion, not plurality. "Free Fish on Friday's" Nope. "Friday's special: fish." Yep.

3. "Irregardless" is not a word. Never has been, isn't, never will be. "Regardless" will do just fine.

4. By the time one says "to make a long story short" it's almost always too late.

5. "That said," or "That being said..." Ok, duh! You just said it.

6. Their, there, they're. Your, you're. To, too, (I'll assume we can figure out "two.")

7. Spell Czech will naught ketch you're air oars if there reel words.

7. And my very favorite - and we all have it - professional jargon. "My ADHD/OCD son has an IEP this afternoon to see if he qualifies for OT, PT, or AT. Use it freely with your colleagues. Impress your friends with it at dinner parties. (If your friends are that easily impressed, get new friends!) But please, oh, please don't expect anyone to know what the hell you are tallking about.

Thanks. I feel better. :-)

Comments

[Melting Mama]

I'm feeling very guilty right now. Oops.

[Ezpy]

What about really skanky girls? Can they be "thats"? ;-)

[melody6499]

Ha! I put two sevens in my own post after I previewed it!

So, I can conjugate (can you do that in Nebraska on Sundays?) but I can't count!