Jack went to our therapist Monday night. The first thing he asked Jack was "what are your options." As Jack mulled that over for a minute, Mark said: "that was a trick question - you have no options, she does."
Then Mark asked the $64,000 question: "are you prepared for the reality of a baby in your house?" Jack dejectedly replied "No. There's no way." I was so relieved, because as the evil stepmother, I couldn't make that decision.
It will be the second hardest thing he's ever done - surpassed only by telling her - at 10 years of age - that her mother had died.
She has options. Mark helped us make a list to give to her about what course of action would be best for her to follow based on her choice of options. Jack passed the list on to her last night and it was not received well.
Get this: the thing she balked most about was having to sell the 79 Firebird she inherited from her aunt. It costs 110 a month to sit in a storage facility and be insured. She drives it fewer than 10 times per year. Plus if she ends up having to go on Medicaid - a distinct possibility - she can't have a 15k classic car sitting in storage!
She has no clue. Her father is walking dead, and the boys and I are tiptoeing around.
I am grateful that Jack and I are in agreement about the living situation, but I honestly don't know if he will ever be the same after this.
The plan is to help her set up housekeeping in May after graduation, just like almost every parent does, and then leave it alone. For a man who's entire career and personality are geared toward "how can I fix this?" this is absolutely killing him.
John went to therapy again on Thurs. Twice in a week. Brother.
Mark is so very bluntly eloquent. He said "she's handing you a steaming pile of shit. You cannot take it from her and make it your own."
Bottom line - even if we wanted to be surrogate parents, we just ain't got the energy! Jack's 52 and I'm 42. We have three kids at home - a sophmore and two 6th-graders - with whom we have precious few years left at home, and who need parents who aren't walking zombies. We ALL deserve better than that.
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